The limbo in our lives

Nora Seed, the protagonist of Matt Haig’s 2020 novel “The Midnight Library,” cannot fathom a reality where she is happy with the lemons that life has given her, not only that, she feels that she has done a lot of wrong to a lot of people. “I had all the chances to make something of my life, and I blew them all,” she writes in the note that she leaves, addressed to no one in particular because she doesn’t really have anyone left. 

So she tries to die. She’s lost her best friend, her job, her family, even her cat. 

But she doesn’t end up in the cliche afterlife places like heaven or hell. Instead she wakes up in the midnight library, a place where she can see all the ways her life could have turned out. A place held in the limbo between life and death. What if she’d picked a different career? What if she’d followed her friend to Australia? What if she’d taken better care of her cat? These are all questions she tries to answer in the library as she gets to try on different lives like shoes in a store. 

Mrs. Elm, an elderly librarian and a character slightly reminiscent of Mrs. Which, Mrs. Whatsit or Mrs. Who of A Wrinkle in Time, helps her navigate the possibilities of each life she tries. When Nora starts to feel uncertain about the future, the library starts to crumble. Will she make the right decision before the library collapses? 

Haig’s novel is all at once a celebration of life, the things we take for granted, and the regret that burdens us all. 

For this month’s literary corner, a new column where I spend my time reading books so you don’t have to, I chose “The Midnight Library” because of the waves it has made within the literary community. It has spent the last 59 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List and for good reason. I’m sure we’ve all served our time wondering what our lives would be like if we had made this decision, if we’d taken that job, if we’d done things differently. What are our lives like in parallel universes? I know I certainly have. 

But what Nora doesn’t seem to realize is that even though her life seems to be at rock bottom, there are still plenty of things to be grateful for. 

In the first year of the pandemic, Brown University reports that in a study done for The Lancet, the rate of depression in American adults went from 8.5% before COVID started to 32.8% and it has only been increasing. Going into the third year, the battle against COVID has been a struggle for a lot of people, but there has been beauty in the pain as well. Yes, our situation may seem unmanageable at times, but that just means we have to look extra hard for the good times and appreciate the small moments as they happen. Maybe you became friends with a neighbor while being quarantined near each other or maybe you actually started an exercise regimen while the streets were quiet, or maybe you even got into Broadway after it moved online in an attempt to keep morale up. There have been lots of things that may not have happened if not for the pandemic. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that “The Midnight Library” helped me realize that even when I struggle to find happiness, I still have so much to live for. Maybe you can too.